If you were online in the 2000s, you probably came across Neopets. This 1999 browser-based virtual pet slash gig economy simulator became a phenomenon, before eventually being bought out and shifting focus to squeezing as much money from users as possible. What was once one of the most popular websites of the era became another victim of time, greed, and the death of Adobe Flash.

Neopets was primarily a social virtual pet game, with cutesy early Flash art, fairies, and a lot of mini-games. Think Tamagotchi but with open chatrooms full of new-to-the-internet children and teenagers. Despite Neopets being the birthplace of your first online relationship being a core memory for many millennials, Neopets was almost entirely chaste. Outside of the chatrooms, the game had no romance, no breeding, and combat was entirely optional and secondary.

Skip ahead to 2023 and Neopets has been sold for the fourth time, but this time with promises of making the game better for the fans. The new owners, World of Neopia immediately made some bold moves, like canceling the Neopets Metaverse NFT project, and importantly, launching a Kickstarter for the official Neopets Tabletop Roleplaying Game!

The Kickstarter

Leading this project were Geekify Inc, a small geek and gaming culture merchandise company. While they aren’t an official part of Neopets, they are a licensed partner. Their experience with Neopets comes in forms such as Christmas Advent Calendars delivered mid-December^[1] and “temu quality” buttons and pins^[2]. Unfortunately for everyone, “There’s no one on the team with significant paid experience designing TTRPGs.“^[3]

The Kickstarter launched on July 12th, 2024, and had reached their $40,000 goal within 6 hours. As of the time of writing, the campaign has received $426,778, more than 10 times the original goal.

There was plenty of buzz in both Neopet and TTRPG spaces. Not only was there potential for a more unique TTRPG, without a focus on combat and tactical decision making, it was dripping with nostalgia. The campaign promised a “pacifistic approach”, mini-games, and “countless occupations” including Chef, Storyteller, Diplomat, and Dungmancer. This could be huge. If done right, this could even be a perfect tool for fans to introduce their children to the world of Neopia.

People more familiar with the TTRPG market might have noticed a red flag or two in the Kickstarter. The most obvious of these was that “many of the core, tried and true mechanics” were taken from D&D 5e and Pathfinder, two games notorious for their focus on combat and skill checks. Oh well, everyone has to start somewhere, right? With almost half a million dollars at their disposal, surely the project has evolved since then.

The First Playtest

In February of 2025, 7500 backers were sent an early playtest in the form of a Google Doc. This initial version allowed readers to use the comments feature to provide feedback. In hindsight, that might have been a mistake. The public were not afraid to voice their opinions on the weird focus on combat and death, the ability to blow up Neopets with dynamite, or the seeming homophobia present–don’t worry, we’ll get to that.

A few days later, the entire Perk section of the playtest was wiped, instead replaced with the text “This work has not been paid for by John Taylor of Geekify.” A disclaimer had also been added with the following text:

“John will steal anything you do with this project, and the people working on this have not been paid, had contracts forced on them, and John has not read nor understands these rules and demands more bullshit gets put in whether it fits or not.”

(While this does not look great for Geekify, these issues are outside of the scope of this article.)

Instead of worrying about John, let’s get back to the playtest. Anyone familiar with 5e will already feel right at home, their Neopet can even learn their favorite D&D spells like Misty Step and Vicious Mockery. We also have 3 pages dedicated almost entirely to death and dying, including the ability to accept your death and suffer a true final death.

Scenario 1 – The Bracelet Bandits

Before we get started, the book suggests a Session 0. This is great advice, and something I recommend every group does. Establishing thoughts, expectations, and boundaries is always a good idea. This playtest advises that the players discuss “How much sexuality is okay ‘on-screen’ before the scene needs to fade to black?” and little else. Please discuss amongst yourselves how sexual this Neopets session should be before we get started.

The first scenario is a short two encounter fight with a group of casino employed thugs. Of course, we need some characters before we get started. The playtest includes a handful of pre-made characters, so we’ll start there. Our party consists of Lycan S, a blue Lupe “pit fighter born for battle“, Patricia Réon, a pink Hissi who “used to run an off the books medical practice“, and Anna Lytics, a green Lutari Petpet Trainer.

Our trio stumble across a crying Chia, who is “unreasonably upset and sobbing“. Bandits have stolen her bracelet, a family heirloom. The police have been contacted but the issue is a low priority. Lycan S passes a DC 4 Performance check to “make her conversation more concise by clearing up her ugly crying.” and after getting a little more information, they head into the woods around Neopia central.

“The woods around Neopia central are not exactly safe. While the paths are traveled well
enough, stepping off into the brush is asking for trouble. Trees filter the light, leaving the forest
floor dim, and can play havoc with Neopets sense of time.“

After some time passes, the party is ambushed by three Bearogs. Does each head of a 3-headed creature count as an individual, or does this encounter include 9 different heads? Either way, Anna Lytics offers the Bearogs some of the party’s rations, and rolling a 4 on a D4, they are satisfied, and the party passes by. The scenario describes the party needing time to recover mentally from this attack, so let’s look at the Stress mechanic.

“From time to time, your Neopet may come across something distressing or an event
that is hard to come to terms with.“

By default, all Neopets are at stress level 2, I can’t relate. Once you reach stress level 4, you can use your desperation to increase the size of your dice by one, in exchange for yet more stress. At stress level 5 you have reached the boiling point, and have disadvantage on any skill checks and saving throws. Presumably our party ended the encounter at a 3, and given some time, they are back down to their baseline stress level. In case you are wondering, no, the Neopets website did not include stress mechanics or events that are mentally hard to come to terms with.

Night falls, and our party comes across the bandit camp. Their group consists of a large Lupe named Mark, armed with a sword, an intoxicated Yurble named Yarbles, a disheveled Zafara named Zack, and a Quiggle in a sharp vest named Quiggly. A DC 5 perception check tells Patricia Réon that Quiggly has several knives hidden on his person. The party also overhears that it was the Chia’s fault for “not having the cash to pay the debt she incurred at the Dice-A-Roo gambling hall.“

The party attempts and fails a set of DC 4 Stealth Checks, and their incursion on the camp has drawn a hostile response from the bandits. The scuffle is brutal and bloody, but almost non-lethal. During the fight, Lycan S is stabbed with a poison-coated knife, and in retaliation slays Quiggly with a swift overhead swing of his warhammer.

After some physical interrogations, the bandits let slip that their employer specifically wanted the bracelet. Yurble thinks it’s odd, because their employer “didn’t seem to be a Roo Island kind of person“, and Zafara says “if the boss is a scary as the rest of the crew says he is, they wouldn’t be caught dead wearing a bracelet that was so feminine.“

The party lead the bandits back to down and turn them in for a bounty. The Chia is reunited with her bracelet, thanking the party and giving them half the reward initially promised. Lycan S comments on only receiving half the reward, and the Chia tells them “she isn’t quite in the position to pay them in full right now, but next week she will have the rest of the money.” The cycle continues.

Maybe another time our party will tackle Scenario 2, a dungeon delve including dynamite, a chamber of bones, spike traps, and tricking the Faerie Queen of Faerieland.

The Aftermath

Neopets posted an official statement addressing the content of the playtest, their partnership with Geekify Inc, and their views on Neopets as an IP. They outright state that the playtest was not approved or reviewed by the Neopets team.

“We want to be transparent with the community: the beta playtest document that was recently made public was not approved or reviewed by our team prior to its release. https://portal.neopets.com/news/feb20-geekify-ttrpg.”

The document has since been set to private, as of time of writing, there has been no further news. Will Geekify continue their work on the TTRPG? Will the remaining funds be passed onto another company? I assume the Neopets TTRPG will fade into memory, another failed venture for Neopets, similar to their Metaverse NFT project.